Sunday, November 21, 2010

Lessons learned

So, it's been about 3 weeks that I've been on crutches, and then an aircast.  Lessons learned:
  • Jaywalking with an aircast can be thrilling and adventurous, but is ultimately a bad idea.
  • If you get angry and throw a crutch at someone, then you only have one crutch.
  • If you ever break your foot or leg, break your left to ensure broader transportation options (driving).
  • People are incredibly nice and deferential when you're on crutches, it's almost like being in the mid-west.  This is why you need to get off the crutches as soon as possible, before your sense of entitlement becomes permanent.
  • The first thing you should do when on crutches is buy a backpack  If you have a backpack, buy a bigger one.  And pockets.  Lotsa pockets.
  • In advance of your injury and stint on crutches, you should be sure to a) strength-train your upper-body; b) change all your ceiling lightbulbs, and c) vacuum.
  • When faced with stairs, it's totally fine to sit on your butt and go down them one step at a time.
  • If you bag your trash and put it by the door, your boyfriend will take it out for you without you asking.
  • When you get your aircast, it will come with a separate little airpump, which is essential for inflating and deflating the cast when you take it off or put it on.  Ask your doctor for a spare -- you will lose this.
  • Surprisingly, a google search for "aircast porn" yields no NSFW hits; "crutches porn" is more productive.  In conducting this study, I opted to play it safe, and did NOT google "aircast goatse".
  • You get dressed, and then put the aircast on; to do things in the reverse order leads one to madness.

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