Thursday, April 12, 2012

What not to wear, redux

A sequel to my previous post

From time to time, I hit Zappos to shop for bathing suits on line.  I always enjoy this immensely.  Here's a sampling of the offerings, with my commentary as a bonus.

We begin.
This is the
"Body Glove Smoothies Sexylicious Love Bra One Piece"
I have nothing to add to that.
Because nothing says "adult" like little baby blue bow ties.
Clearly this woman has strained her pectoral and abdominal muscles,
and is wearing compression garments to aid in quick recovery.

This is a $395 swimsuit. 
For that price, you'd think they could include straps.
The "Orca 226 Lite"
"I KNOW, let's name our women's swimsuits after WHALES!"
Pretty cool -- if you can actually get this on
without outside assistance, you've proven
both your intelligence and your flexibility.

 
When you can't pay a model enough to wear it,
you know the suit is ugly.

7 comments:

  1. You need the "synchronized swimming" edition. Here's a start:

    "Please don't shift a fraction of an inch, just please..." http://www.migzphotography.com/2011USCollegiateSynchronizedSw/Duet-17-33/16235725_8CjwVF#!i=1220144312&k=7c7Nz

    BUMBLE BEE http://www.migzphotography.com/2011USCollegiateSynchronizedSw/Trio-15-28/16235744_c6fkKS#!i=1219870271&k=d43Dd

    Light gold: When you want to look like you are wearing shiny body paint and nothing else
    http://www.migzphotography.com/2011USCollegiateSynchronizedSw/Teams-1-13/16288436_vKdvSX#!i=1223958461&k=X8EmY

    And that's just one meet...

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  2. $395!?!? Is that suit made out of money?

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  3. The $395 one comes with the model, right?

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  4. Ha! That last one is hideous. I am a fan of #2. . .

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  5. LOL. Seriously The Orca?!? I'm not going to wear a whale suit! Hysterical post!

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